I’ll be the first to admit that having a cheating husband is in no way funny. There’s no hidden humor as a betrayed wife goes through the gut wrenching process of finding out, deciding what to do, and then doing what she’s decided to do.
I’ve been through this process and it was one of the defining events in my life. Yes, a defining event. And one I didn’t even choose to participate in. How do you like that?!
As I struggled through each day finding out yet another nauseating detail of my husband’s second life, I needed to lighten that heavy burden. Laughing has always been a way of life for me and I’d lost my laughter. One day, a friend asked me something fairly bland about my husband and I responded with a sarcastic and quite funny retort. We both laughed for five minutes. It was the best stress relief I’d had in months.
At that point I realized that though my situation was serious and quite terrible, it didn’t have to take away my sense of humor. In fact, I could take some humor from the very disaster I was trying to get through. I found that if I tried to ignore it and act like it wasn’t happening, those details would fester inside me and I’d bitterly get through each day becoming more of a sad sack. This wasn’t an acceptable thing for me.
So, I started seeing some humor in the little events of his affair and how I dealt with it. As I started sharing some of that humor with my friends, they became better support for me because the elephant in the room was finally discussed in a way that eased some of the tension that we were all feeling.
Now I know that some people would say that it’s inappropriate to handle such a serious situation this way. Some may say that allowing humor will make a tawdry decision by a spouse seem less tawdry. Others may say that making jokes about an affair will make it seem acceptable. Well, I guess some may view it that way. That’s really okay with me. We all have a right to our own opinions and we all get through difficult situations in different ways.
Making a few jokes and having a few well needed chuckles at my cheating husband’s expense was much needed therapy for me. I never let up on my quest to protect myself and my children because I was able to find some humor in the details of the process. I would never say that his affair was funny in any way, however some of the details and things that happened through our journey were pretty comical.
I encourage anyone who is dealing with a cheating spouse to work relentlessly to protect everything that’s important to them. While doing that, it’s okay to laugh about some of what’s going on.
Take a look at this photo I put together about lipstick on his collar and let me know what you think!