One of the ways that cheating spouses hurt their family is by being unavailable or uninvolved in important events or holidays. The reasons they don’t participate can vary, but some of the most common are:
- They feel guilty so they withdraw
- They prefer to be with the other person so they withdraw
- They have already left the marriage emotionally so they withdraw
- They are just so self centered that they don’t even realize that they’re hurting other people with their withdrawal
So my birthday was coming up and I was looking forward to spending it with my husband. I can’t really explain why I was looking forward to that because he had been being a jerk for several months. I’m not sure why I had hope that we would have a good time together, but I did. My birthday was in the middle of the week and I expected to at least go out to dinner to celebrate a little.
The morning of my birthday, my husband told me he was going to work from home that morning and leave on a business trip that afternoon. What?! He hadn’t mentioned this before now. His travel was always planned at least a week ahead.
I asked him why he had to leave in the afternoon when he normally traveled early in the day to make the most of his time. He said he needed to be there for an early meeting the next day. So basically he was going to leave before I got home from work and let me spend my birthday evening alone. Of course the kids would be there, but clearly he was making sure he wasn’t playing any part in my birthday this year.
I actually had a moment where I thought he might be planning some kind of surprise for me, but soon I snapped myself back into reality and made plans for me and the kids without him.
So he and his girlfriend had a very nice dinner to celebrate my birthday. I know about this because I found the charges at one of my favorite restaurants on his credit card statement for that very night. Since I was with the kids at the food court in the mall… Well you know. I wonder if they toasted me for my birthday?