So it may seem like since you found out about your spouse’s affair that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in your life is terrible. On top of a wayward husband or wife, you have unruly kids, a house that needs repairs, a dog that pees on the carpet, selfish friends, loud neighbors, nosy relatives, and a job that sucks. These are probably just the tip of the iceberg when you’re in that kind of mental place.
Wow. What a life! Overwhelming. Sucksville.
You probably ask yourself why did I marry this guy? What was I thinking? Or maybe you think about the other girl you dated who probably would have been a much better wife and never would have cheated on you? Right?
It’s normal and easy to fall into this trap. But letting yourself go there is a huge mistake – one that can ruin your life. Now you might think that’s a little dramatic and maybe it is, but go with me for a minute.
You must make decisions that affect the rest of your life and that of your children every day. Most of the time, these aren’t life altering. However, when you get so low and your attitude turns so negative, your decision making abilities are going to be off center. You could decide to end a marriage that there is great hope for just because you’re tired of dealing with it and your attitude has gone too far negative. On the other hand, you could decide to stay in a marriage that you should get out of because your self esteem is so trashed and your negative point of view tells you that this is your only option.
Either of these decisions can ruin your life or that of your kids. It’s important to not let this responsibility weigh you down, but be aware that the negative forces can over take you and cause disaster if you let it.
So please try to not let yourself get too far into the negative even though it’s easy to do. Focus on the good things in your life. I mean really focus. Take joy in your family and friends. Try to separate your marital issues from the rest of the components in your life. They are related, no doubt, but your ultimate happiness is not dependent on the state of your marriage.
Trust in yourself! Remind yourself constantly of the good things that are uniquely you! Take a break periodically from thinking about your marriage and your troubles. Take a break periodically from trying to improve yourself. Just be a free spirit for an hour or an afternoon and think only positive thoughts during that time. The little bit of stress relief you get from taking a short break will go a long way to helping you get back to a place of positive thinking.
Tags: affair help, affair recovery, help for an affair, infidelity, infidelity help, infidelity recovery, recovering from an affair, self care, survive an affair, surviving an affair, take care of yourself, thinking positive, you are important